


The Crack In The Wall

by agirlnamedtruth



Category: Låt den rätte komma in | Let the Right One In (2008)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Angst, F/M, Insecurity, POV First Person, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 19:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1522025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agirlnamedtruth/pseuds/agirlnamedtruth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eli runs her hands over the rough bricks and finds a crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Crack In The Wall

**Author's Note:**

> I think this can apply to any of the media (book, original film, play) but I wrote it on the way back from seeing the play, if that helps. Written for the [Writerverse](http://writerverse.livejournal.com) prompt "crack in the wall".

I run my fingers over the crack in the wall between us. You are sleeping on the other side. I cannot sleep. Boredom stretches out inside me like a cat, claws scratching my insides with hunger. 

You are on the other side breathing, reminding me I am not. I hear you fight invisible enemies in your sleep, reminding me why I want to.

Being alone is like a skin. You wear it long enough and it will settle over you. You can't imagine the pain of it being peeled away. It starts to become a shield and I call it solitude. They call you strange. They call me a monster. You call me lonely. I call you the same.

You tell me you had a nightmare of drowning. I tell you if you are dreaming; you cannot be drowned. You say I saved you. I think I ruined you, selfishly. You give up everything. I take everything. You give up your life. I only have death to offer. 

I touch the crack in the wall and hope it is not a crack starting between us. One day you will want a woman. One day you will want a family. One day you'll want to be human. One day you'll want me to be human. But I cannot be, any more than the world can stop turning with us. 

One day the crack will become very wide. Will you look on me with the same gaze of the predators that came before you? Or will you still look at me sweetly, like you do now? Only then you'll be looking at me like I am your child, maybe.

Would that this wall would crumble and that I could stay with you forever in the warm. But it has been weeks since I fed and I can't trust myself to keep your slumbering heart beating.

You say you trust me. I say dead men have trusted me. I make you lock the door. Lock me out. Just in case.

I feed and I don't think of you. I can't bear to thinking you when I am that person. Not a person.

I sit at the window looking in, tracing this crack between us. We've left the snow behind. We left the Rubik’s cube behind. We left everything behind. All we have is the code.

I keep my hand on the wall, covering the crack with my palm like I can keep the wall from splitting. My other hand taps on the glass.

_Let me in._

You do. You wipe the blood from my mouth with a damp cloth and I catch you hand.

I hold it, I feel your heart beat faster, see you jump but there is no fear. I just moved too fast.

"Eli?"

I can still feel the brick dust on my fingertips and it comes off on your skin. I wonder which one of us is cracking.

"Is there a wall between us, Oskar?"

"Only when you put them there." You smile, pretending it is a joke.

 

"And if it is weak and broken? If it falls down? What then?" I ask, having lost what it really means anymore. 

You put your hand up, against our invisible wall.

"Then there isn’t a wall,” you say. I put my hand up and it touches yours. "There is just us."

"Just us,” I repeat, trying out the words and liking them. “Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> As of 01/01/18, I'm opting to disable comments. [More information here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13077201).


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